what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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