If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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