Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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