If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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