You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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