Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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