You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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