Are we in a gay sports bar?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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