After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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