so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
