I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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