when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
