Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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