ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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