Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
