he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
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Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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