No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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