so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
