So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
