Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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