you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
