another moral hangover. fuck.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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