like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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