last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
