there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need to sanitize my soul.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
