So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
