finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
