They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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