Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
