Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
