I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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