your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
