You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
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i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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