Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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