At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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