My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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