Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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