Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
