Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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