Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
