k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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