Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
