Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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