I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
In America we eat man semen.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
