We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
