addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
