Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
