my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
