so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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