So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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