It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
