a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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