You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just pee around me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
