how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
