Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You are a genius and a whore.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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