I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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