Yo dont text me then not text me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
